+ another long rambling warning +

i'm not sure how other artists work, but for me, when i incorporate symbols into

my works, it's very likely that i wasn't aware of the action, or i did it without any

cognitive thought process. i wish i were able to do it out of will, more,

able to send out messages and stories, and all that good stuff that really good artists

must be able to do.

(maybe "metaphors" is a better word than symbols).

midway through preparing for my next show, i started obsessively drawing hair in strands and folds.

it was something that kind of started being a pain, due to its slow progress and completion time,

but it was soothing at the same time, and i felt like there was something in there for me as well.

listening to some books and music, letting the stories and thoughts seep into

each strand, fold and crease i drew - i can still recall what i was listening to or was thinking

when i run my fingers over different strands!

some people have comment that they love the "hair style" i create, or say that maybe

i must particularly like long, flowy hair.

(probably since my hair is short, it must seem as if i have hair-envy. i don't.)

these were a bit more literal that what i had in mind...

... which made me think about this for a while about symbols.

i've read somewhere that hair, traditionally, symbolizes lust or vanity.

(which is why monks and nuns often got rid of their hair first).

i knew that this meant little to nothing to me, maybe a little bit.

my own, personal meaning in the hair started to take shape slowly :

hair seems to be something that we have no control over.

it grows as if it's got a mind of its own - the speed at which it grows,

or its shape, form or texture, we can't control.

you can keep cutting it off, but you can't stop it from growing from you.

maybe i am using hair to represent a part of oneself that one wants to get away from and hide.

or the opposite - something you want to protect yourself with and hide behind.

or perhaps the sprouts of thoughts and ideas (inner demons, even) that you are

incapable of stopping, and only have to come to embrace.

all the folds and creases of the hair might reflect the mazes of the mind,

which might reflect the mazes of the environment?

in the earlier pieces i'd done, the hair flew more freely in more of a mass bleeding into the background

- where the girl perhaps wanted to blend and melt into the environment,

letting the surroundings seep into herself...

the 'self' now maybe wants to be enveloped by its own burden, or even be protected by the

surrounding elements and find its own holding spot.

in spite of all the faults and shortcomings, embracing oneself...

sorry about such a long ramble!

writing a little statement about the upcoming show has got me thinking more,

and thought i'd write a little bit out here in case i forget.

............................

"There are symbolic dreams-- dreams that symbolize some reality.

Then there are symbolic realities -- realities that symbolize a dream."
— Haruki Murakami, A Wild Sheep Chase

also :

"Symbolism and meaning are two separate things."

— Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore.

+ EDIT : the finished pieces that are shown in progress are posted here now.